You Are My Greatest Adventure | A Love Letter

I was never good at this sort of thing. I was never good at looking someone in the eye and producing flowing, beautiful sentences of prose that had the ability to conjure tears. As I sit here writing on the evening of our second anniversary, I feel simultaneously at a loss for words and unable to write all my thoughts down because I feel so much. I am trying to find the right vocabulary to help you understand just how much you mean to me; how much these last two years have meant to me. I’ll start here.

I used to think love was for the foolish and the scared. Foolish for trusting another human being with the most fragile parts of themselves; scared for fear of being alone. I used to think love was for people who were insecure and needed validation from someone who vowed to never leave them. I used to think love was for those who settled because they feared living up to their potential. I used to think love was for those who did not know they were allowed to put themselves before anyone else. I used to believe a lot of things about love - awful, wonderful, terrifying, amazing, inconceivable things about love. Because of you, I have learned otherwise. Because of you, I have been shown a beacon of light. Because of you, I have seen and felt and received love. Because of you, I love. 

The concept of “needing” another person has always seemed foreign to me. After two years together, I still do not need you. I do not need you to help me be fulfilled, whole, or complete. Instead I choose you. You make me feel like I can finally breathe without strain. It’s like jumping off of a cliff into the ocean and being carried with the crashing waves under cooling, welcoming waters. I choose you because if I didn’t, I would not be who I am in this moment. I choose you, because I would rather change all of my plans to be with you wherever you are, than to not be with you at all. I choose you, because you are my person. Having a soulmate is an odd concept, but you make me believe. There is no other person on this beautiful planet I am meant to be with.  I choose you. I choose you today, I will choose you tomorrow, and I will choose you for the rest of my life. 

You are the love of my life. You have given me the strength to realize that I am a human being who deserves love, support, gentleness, and above all, respect. You taught me that I am worthy. You are the rising smoke after I blow out the candles I’m not supposed to be burning. You are the twenty-two seconds of light when the clouds break. You are the dream I have that is so vivid, I question its reality. You are the small part myself that still believes in magic. You are the dizzy kind of comfort I never thought I’d feel. You are… everything. The world is full of terrible things. I went through some terrible things. Despite what has happened in my past and in yours, I believe it all became worth it when we finally met. When I saw you, I saw hope, When I held you, I held some faith in my future. You are the greatest gift God and the universe could ever give me.

“The great moments of your life won’t necessarily be the things you do, they’ll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I’m not saying you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life, you have to take action, and you will. But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever. You see, the universe has a plan, kids, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It’s a scary thought, but it’s also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you’re supposed to be, exactly when you’re supposed to be there. There right place at the right time.”

- Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother

What are the chances that you and I met? I saw you for the first time in the student union singing karaoke in front of a bunch of other confused and amused freshmen during their first night as full-time college students at Ohio University. You sang Lou Bega’s “Mambo No.5″ and before jumping off stage, you yelled, “Follow me on Twitter!” I looked at my roommate, I told her I thought you were cute, I followed you, you followed me back, and somehow, a year after that, we met in person for the first time. All of that happened three years ago. It feels like I’ve known you a lifetime. What are the chances that you and I found a way to each other, despite all the road blocks in our way? So many little moments brought us to where we are today. The road has been a long and winding one, with more than a few bumps along the path. I praise God for every single thing that has happened during our collective stories because everything has led me to you. 

I had no idea I would feel this much. I had no idea I would even be able to handle this much. I had no idea how beautiful it all actually is. I had no idea that with you, everything is so much brighter and clearer. I had no idea that you were who I had been praying for all these years, and that on this day, we are planning our futures together. Next year, two years, five years, ten years, twenty years… every year for the rest of my life, I am ready to give to you. I am ready to stand beside you through every trial we may face. The good and the bad times are surely waiting up ahead for us, but I know that our love can weather every storm and every cloudless day. On the mornings we wake up to the brooding clouds and crashing thunder shaking the floorboards, we will rise from the comfort and warmth of our blankets and we will rise to greet every tempest with open arms because we can face it all. There is no challenge that we will fail. There is no trial we will not overcome. Storms can last days, and so we will take our time. We will not be shaken or weathered or beaten. Love like this cannot be broken. Love like this is meant to last.

“It was twisting, turning road…and not everything along the way was perfect. To be honest, not everything to follow would be perfect, either. But what is? Here’s the secret, kids: None of us can vow to be perfect. In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with all that we’ve got. Because love is the best thing we do.”

- Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother

You are my greatest adventure, and our story is just beginning. I love you. Happy second anniversary. 

All my love, 

Tess

(PS: I'm not sorry for all the How I Met Your Mother references. It's a great show, and it's something that helped bring us together. Thanks, HIMYM.)